Flies Through the Air
Chuck doesn't take flights. He is the flight. Birds pull over to let him pass. Air traffic control just says “go ahead, Chuck.”
Independently verified by a panel of scientists who then quit science, because what was the point anymore.
A small, humble sample. The full list is stored in a mountain because no building could hold it.
Chuck doesn't take flights. He is the flight. Birds pull over to let him pass. Air traffic control just says “go ahead, Chuck.”
A full hundred, stacked in a pyramid, balanced on one palm. The elephants describe the experience as “honestly, an honor.”
It was about to erupt. Chuck gave it a high five and a pep talk. It's now a very successful hot spring with great reviews.
Bare-handed. He keeps the good bolts in a jar on the shelf and uses them to charge the neighbors' phones for free.
Three sets of ten. The tides were weird for a week. He apologized to the ocean personally and the ocean said it was cool.
Once a year, sharks gather to watch documentaries about him. They take notes. They are still not close.
It was headed for Earth. Chuck caught it, checked the label, and threw it back with a note that said “wrong address.”
The rice is perfect. The rice is always perfect. He also parallel parks on the first try, every time, uphill.
Time waits for no man, with one documented exception. Clocks check with Chuck before moving forward.
Measured on standard equipment. The equipment did not survive.
* Bars exceeding 100% are not a bug. They are the meter trying its best.
An endless supply of 100% true facts. Press the button. Learn something.
Fly Chuck through the sky and scoop up all 100 elephants. Dodge the storm clouds. Chuck wouldn't need three lives, but you might.
Unsolicited reviews from extremely reliable sources.
“I've been pulling on him for years. Nothing. I respect it.”
Gravity
“He lifted me and 99 of my closest friends. Smooth ride. Would be lifted again.”
Elephant #47
“I rise every morning mostly to see what he's going to do.”
The Sun
“We clocked him at Mach 12. Then he waved. Then our radar retired.”
A very tired air traffic controller